I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what day is it and did you see me today?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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