i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize