i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
