so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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