the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
