i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize