worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
