Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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