I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
