Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
