Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
