there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
