he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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