He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
