I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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