im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Are my feet made of real feet?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You are the jesus of drinking
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
