just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
