If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
