Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
