um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
