I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
