I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize