That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
