Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize