If that was your dad, he is hot
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
