Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize