You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
