Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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