is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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