New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize