if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
