He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
