ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
