I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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