Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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