I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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