Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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