It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
