umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
