that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
