I want to have your abortion
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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