Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
