Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
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