Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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