Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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