what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize