I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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