it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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