My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize