what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
