So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
