you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
