Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
