What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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