At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
