Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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