I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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