I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I came so hard my ears popped.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
