If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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