Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize