At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it's like iHOP with fire
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
