Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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