just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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