the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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