My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
