First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
