Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
