Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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