Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
