she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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