I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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