Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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