Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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