I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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