Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
