I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
