Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
