I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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