you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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