i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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